My whole life has been a big “work in progress”.
And it started early, in school. Mom would always pester me about “being like the other kids”. It didn’t matter if she meant act like them, dress like them, speak like them, or ever get same grades as them.
I really think deep inside I hated it. I hated it because it made me feel like I am inferior, like I can not be my own self without being compared with someone else. She didn’t understand that I did not really care for the other kids and their own achievements, because hey! it was all their own effort that they laid out.
Other parents were doing it too, but it didn’t show or the kids rebelled and didn’t speak about it.
All those years of having it drilled into my head, I started acting like that. Try to become like the others. I became a big copy cat! And not many liked it… and they did tell me to find my own way of doing things.
I didn’t know how. Where to start. I didn’t have a guide. I had a voice in my head that kept telling me “be like the other kids”.
Needless to say, I was never able to fit in.