I had to fast yesterday. Yearly blood tests require you to keep fast.

I am bad when I don’t eat. Like, really bad! Cranky, antsy, moody, obnoxious…you get the picture. To avoid a really bad scene at work, I had a cup of coffee and a protein bar and lied to the nurse about it! naturally. 

The appointment was late in the afternoon and I was to go home right after.

But, you know, life happens, and I had booked a chiropractic visit for early evening too, and to kill some time I walked into the grocery store. We needed paper towel.

I grabbed a cart from the big line of carts at the front of the store.

If you ever walked into a Walmart you know that as soon as you enter the doors by the food side, a McDonalds awaits for you. They pray on you to be starving! I looked the other way, but my nose communicated it to my brain that SOMETHING freaking smelled good there…

So my mind started negotiating with me. Negotiations about how long I can be in the store, before giving in to food or how long until I lose my mind completely!

All I needed was a BIG bag of paper towel! We ran out of them before the weekend and I forgot to pick some up at our regular grocery store visit on Saturday morning. The routine is wake up around 7-7:30am, feed everyone, COFFEE for me, coffee and toast for Mitchell, then out the door to the farmer’s market, then the grocery store (be it Walmart or Chinese one). Every time I make lists to take to the grocery store, I forget them at home, so I don’t bother anymore.

I try to commit the list to memory, but now I’m old and busy, and tiny bit lazy, and over 30 and I forgot the fucking paper towels! We had to use regular towels to wipe around the kitchen. I now have to wash 3 EXTRA towels because I didn’t make a list! #firstworldproblems

So, as you might have expected, I was still at the front of the store, negotiating with my mind. I picked up some pears to have for lunches at work, and a nice ripe pineapple. Then I went by the cheese stand. Left the cart from my hand and did a walk around and picked up a brie and a bag of bread buns. Good for sandwiches and to break into pieces and give with milk to the dogs.

I got back around the stand, grabbed the cart and moved on. We didn’t need any mushrooms, nor green onions, nor sweet pepper. Oh tea aisle… nope, nope, nope. Then the pasta aisle. i picked up a bag of mini conchiglie rigate pasta – I like them with milk. Then the baking aisle! I grabbed some active yeast, some bread flour, powdered milk, and spices.

As I put the spices in the cart, I stared blankly at the cart… When in the name of all holly did I pick up salad dressing AND a round pumpernickel bread… and some cereal.

OMFG! I took someone else’s cart! And added things to it. And took it for a ride in the aisles…

I quickly picked up my items, held them close to my chest, and went back, tracing my footsteps to the cheese stand… I found MY cart just where I left it, with the pears and pineapple in it.

I texted Mitchell to say I cannot shop when I am hungry anymore.

His reply — “WOW”

I hadn’t even reach the paper towel aisle!!! That’s what I came in for! and ONLY that… I walked out with a $50 dollar bill to show for my insanity. There are no meds for that. only laughter!

I am not allowed to shop alone anymore…