The other day, mom and I had a girl to girl talk as we looked over old pictures. We talked about her childhood and what she liked the most, as well as what she hated the most.She talked a lot about why she left the farm my grandparents built and why going to school was that much more important in her books. When I was little and complained about homework, she would tell me we wouldn’t be where we are or have what we have if it wasn’t for her going to school and getting a good education. I admired that in her – I still praise her for her efforts and dedication she always showed.
She talked about the struggles she’s gone through and lost childhood play time because she was sent out on the communal pastures to watch over cows… when all she wanted to do was sit home and read a whole lot of books!
She talked about being in charge of meal preparation while my grandparents were out in the fields cutting hay or turning or baling it… when all she wanted was to go play with the neighbourhood kids.
She talked about washing all the clothes and bed sheets and blankets by hand. Waiting for them to soak and pray that colors won’t bleed… when all she wanted was to enjoy the weekend before school started.
Then she told me “I don’t want you turning out like your grandmother”. She explained herself by adding that I needed to still hold a steady job with a steady income to not depend on others and not to stretch myself thin working with animals. She said she felt I would be left to do it all on my own and will come to hate it and then what!? She said I need to maintain my lady-like appearance and not act like I don’t care about myself…
I let her finish her thought and my reply was simple… “but grandma’s life is all I want”. I wish I had all her wisdom and be able to live simply. Her creativity is what made my summers so enjoyable at her place! I want my kids to experience that too (even though I have a feeling they will try to run away just like my mom did). Modern times call for modern farmers, but the basics still stand and we need more of that! There’s no app for real living… You learn from doing it!
just like anything else, for that matter
My childhood playtime consisted of watching cows with friends AND making up games so we can pass the time… we also made fires and baked potatoes and had them as snacks with a little salt. Fingers were black from the charcoal and burning from the heat of the potato. I am a great fire starter for any occasion 😉
I embraced the art of cooking from my grandmother – turning fresh, backyard grown onions, carrots, potatoes, greens, into a delicious soup. Or fresh baby cucumbers, dill, salt and water into fabulous, most juicier pickles! I experienced the hay turning and baling and it was hard work, but food tasted so much better after! I always looked forward to that piece of side bacon, fresh onion and a big piece of bread! Best stories were shared at the shade of a tree while taking a break from the hard work. At times I was in charge of keeping a small fire going next to the horse to keep the flies away. Grandpa taught me to add hay slowly, slowly so there’s a lot of smoke. I used to talk to the horse and pet it, and brush it, and make kissing noises!
Grandma taught me the art of soap making and watching it wash the clothes was a science project. Ya, I hated the chore at times too, but more times than not she made it into a fun activity for us to do together.
We counted peeled potatoes and figured out how many eggs we need for a pie. We kneaded dough and rolled it nice and thin to make homemade pasta, and we picked raspberries together and turned into jam!
The best memories I have of my childhood are from my grandmother’s place…
Why would I ever want to follow someone else’s steps?Â
PS. mom’s achivements are worth mentioning, but my heart needs more than a 9-5 job and 2-3 weeks of vacation per year… The wealth will come from other sources
June 15, 2016 at 6:31 am
This is why I wish more families had the multiple generations living/playing together, for longer. The older generations also have so much to offer, in life experiences as well as in your case, the foundation and support for your chosen lifestyle. It’s fantastic that your mum also struck her own path, because it meant that she could choose rather than just do it because that’s what was ‘done’. Same thing that you’re doing, though you’re choosing the other way! It’s all very yin and yang 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
June 15, 2016 at 8:21 am
I like the yin and yang aspect of it for sure 🙂
LikeLike
June 8, 2016 at 1:51 pm
I love how you described the interactions with your mother, and how you seem to have different views on what you should strive for/value in life! It’s funny how generations differ that way…it seems like one generation tries to separate themselves from their parents, and then they try to instill that way of thinking in their children. But, as a way of separating themselves from THEIR parents, those children gravitate towards the earlier generation! It sounds like you have a clear idea of how you want to live life. Just go for that…My parents were absolutely confused (and not in a good way, initially) about the fact that I wanted to live in Europe. They figured I’d want to be around family, spend my life in Buffalo, etc. But, once they saw how I set about this ‘alternate’ direction and how happy it made me, they let up and realized I was making my own happiness. I’m sure it will be the same with you! 🙂 I like the life you’ve set up for yourself a lot! It sounds like you have goals and a real appreciation for your way of life, where you are and where you’re headed. Kudos!
LikeLiked by 1 person
June 8, 2016 at 2:19 pm
Yup. My mom has always been very proper and ladylike. She is one of those little old ladies that will dress up for any occasion because that’s how she feels comfortable! It sounds like both your mom and mine have this pre-conception of how things will turn out for us and they try to warn us ahead of time 🙂 all with good intention! and I heard it more than once “oh you were right about so and so and I am happy you didn’t give up…” The motherly instinct is to cuddle and protect and your decision to move across the ocean and mine to just quit a secure/steady income for them feels like trying to skydive without a parachute!
LikeLike
June 7, 2016 at 9:17 pm
True. it would be wonderful if my kid would connect to nature. Getting too attached to gadget and electronics is scary.
LikeLiked by 1 person
June 7, 2016 at 11:02 am
Yup, it all comes down to what we want in the end. The memories sounds nice! Would love to experience some of it, as it sounds more valuable than ‘watching tv together’ or ‘play computer games’ like many children today experienced
LikeLiked by 1 person
June 7, 2016 at 11:46 am
I have to agree with your statement about the TV and playing video games… kids get so disconnected from nature and are totally oblivious to what is happening outside. Everything moves way too fast and if you don’t pay attention it could be gone with a blink and you become lost later in life, regretting all this wasted time!
LikeLiked by 1 person